Musings
The best sign of confidence and maturity is probably never having to say "We belong here," or "We are equals." I find a lot of organizations trying to "pump up" their people by proclaiming, "We're world class!" or "We have a seat at the table!"
Wouldn't you already know that because people were coming to you for advice and you happened to be seated at the table at the moment?
I've always loved Jaguar automobiles, and we've had a couple over the years. I've also loved Mercedes, and we've had quite a few of them. Sometimes Jaguar owners would make a point of telling me (or anyone within earshot) that their cars were the equal of Mercedes and that they preferred the Jag's styling. Never, once, did I hear Mercedes owners saying that about Jaguars. That's because the Jag owners who spoke that way had an inferiority complex they were trying to exorcise, and the Mercedes owners knew their cars were good and didn't have to prove it to anyone.
Great athletes demonstrate their unique abilities by winning more often than losing. They don't taunt opponents or make excuses for not winning more. Great companies meet or exceed tough strategic goals, reward their people well, value their customers, and contribute to the environment while generating impressive returns for stockholders. They don't launch massive PR campaigns or foist sizzle over substance. Great philanthropists and charities simply help people. They don't use every gesture as the excuse for a press conference or new self-aggrandizement.
Competition is a wonderful dynamic, particularly because just by engaging you improve. You don't have to "win," merely try your best and learn. As we improve and garner more substance, we become objects of interest to others. We are sought out. We are cited. We reach a point where we know what we are doing and what it is worth. (I'm a good speaker who can help people to improve. I don't change lives or create magic moments, nor am I a charlatan or slickster. I know exactly who I am and what I do in that arena.)
When we have to proclaim who we are, that we "belong" or "have arrived" or "are a part of the team," it always sounds to me as if we are trying to convince ourselves, not someone else. True word-of-mouth support usually focuses on those whom others believe "belong" and "have arrived" and "are part of the team." Empirical evidence is just that: as obvious as a ham sandwich. You're either sitting at the table or you're not. If you're not, telling me you are doesn't change my reality. ("Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?")
Just as the time people spend cheating the system would reap far better returns applied mastering the system, energy spent proclaiming that we "belong" is better spent in the efforts required to have others actually embrace you. Human resource people can tell me forever that they have a seat at the corporate "table," but show me three human resource executives who have been promoted to CEO of their company in the last five years. Don't bother, you can't. Hence, their "table" is purely metaphoric, not real.
I prefer deeds to words. If you can do it, I believe you. If you merely say you can do it, then I'm not impressed. Them that can, do.
Them that can't, just proclaim that they can.
ORTIYKMWOYBNT-O Department
My wife uses our truck for her errands, and usually takes the dogs along for company (and to tire them out). One day, realizing she had to pick people up that evening, she stopped at a gas station that also provided a free, automated car wash. Once amidst the whirling brushes and spraying water, our terrier began to moan and our always-high-strung Shepherd, Koufax, became frazzled. Jumping on my wife for safety (he's 85 pounds), he pushed the automatic window opener on the door and my wife was sprayed right in the face with the pre-rinse. Both dogs headed for the rear, howling.
A couple of weeks later, in a similar situation, my wife was careful to keep her arm up so that the shepherd could not reach her window, while she also "locked out" all the other window buttons. Koufax became so agitated that he stood on the console and hit his head on the ceiling controls, which triggered the "auto-open" for the sunroof.
Since this took a minute longer than last time, my wife was directly under the soap sequence. Both dogs again headed for the cargo area. My wife was unable to close the sunroof since she had several gallons of soap in her hair, her eyes, and the front of the passenger compartment.
She came home, on a sunny day, looking as if she had been in a tornado, chasing Koufax across the yard. I didn't ask about it until days later.