Musings: Reflections on 60
A few weeks ago my daughter threw a surprise 60th birthday party for me in Manhattan. I suspected something was going on (in the limo she told me my son was already there waiting for us, and he's never been anywhere already waiting for us) but I didn't know what. I was ushered into a restaurant with
70+ people from extraordinarily different aspects and periods of my life.
It was like viewing a still-life with the components painted by artists from different schools. Nothing seemed to go together. Then I realized that I had to step into the painting myself. The commonality was moi.
It was a truly fabulous time. I was as sociable as the energizer bunny on speed. I kept circulating and interacting. I've no doubt used up my entire extrovert quotient until June 2012, and I'll be running on fumes until then.
They say that 60 is the new 40. "They" could be right. I've never felt better.
I'm continuing to try new business ventures (some fail, most don't, a few have been incredible), explore new vistas (I hope to qualify for my advanced open water diving certification in Turks & Caicos not long after you read this), and enjoy every second (I read Reinhold Niebuhr but also love American Idol).
However, I find myself able to see the ineffable signs of the horizon. It's vague and shimmering, but years ago there was no horizon. Counterintuitively, perhaps, the key is to keep facing it and not look back. Watching your wake simply lulls you to sleep.
When you're young, you think you know everything, but when you age you realize you know next to nothing. (I'm constantly surprised at how stupid I was two weeks ago.) Consequently, a tremendous burden is lifted as you grow older.
I look at life in slower motion now, appreciating the nuances of the brush strokes and the richness of the texture. I admire the muscles rippling just under the skin of my white German Shepherd as he gallops in front of the woods. I'm aware of the sly light reflected by a shifting moon on the evergreens.
I savor the wine and enjoy each bite of food. I've never cared one way or the other about applause, but I am more delighted than ever when someone looks up at me with the rapture of learning.
I had a hard experience at 30 and 40, largely because I was competing against the prowess and formidability of the inexorable march of time.
But 50 slid in more easily, a wealth of reward for past accomplishment and long-delayed maturity. ("Age is such a high price to pay for maturity," observed playwright Tom Stoppard.)
Sixty is like a luxurious coat or a sleek car. Ironically, despite an older body, it's a feeling of effortlessness, of total comfort, of power. The momentum is strong and surging. It fits me well.
And so I march toward the horizon. It's a long way off and there are so many miles yet to travel. It's the thrill of a lifetime.
ORTIYKMWOYBNT-O Department
Due to other commitments, my wife and I arrived at the end of the evening at one of our favorite restaurants, which was sponsoring scholarships in support of the Miss Rhode Island/Miss America competition. Since the owners know us well, we were escorted to the upstairs bar where people kindly organized some food and drink for us as the contestants were cleaning up (they had served dinner).
Over my second martini, the hostess, whom I know and is a striking woman, came over to me with a tiara on her head. I kissed her and told her she looked good enough to compete with anyone there.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"You could certainly enter this contest," I offered magnanimously, "and everyone would believe you were a legitimate contestant."
She disentangled from my embrace and seethed, "I'm a winner!"
It wasn't the hostess. It was the reigning Miss Rhode Island.
KICKER: A woman seated next to me heard all this and asked what I did.
She told me she was a director of the pageant and they were in need of one more judge. I told her I was perfect. She asked my qualifications. I explained that I had written 25 books, visited 54 countries, and that that was my Bentley parked outside. She said, "You're perfect!" and that's how I became a judge in the Miss Rhode Island/Miss America Pageant.