Musings
There were some errors in Balancing Act last month. My apologies. I hate typos and grammar errors as much as anyone. For those of you who sarcastically wrote, "Is this a test?", no, it wasn't. For those who good-naturedly wrote to say they assumed I knew that "it's" didn't need that apostrophe, well, I do know.
I received 12 letters, 9 in varying degrees of wit and fun, and 3 in some form of high dudgeon and outrage. (Which means about 7,239 people didn't comment.) My favorite was a severely chastising letter that, itself, had an error in it!
Errors happen.
I bring this up here because, while striving for excellence is a noble pursuit, using perfection as a yardstick will probably result in splinters. I calculated once, in response to an interview question, that I had written to that point about three million published words in books, columns, and articles. I know that several of my books contain typos which I and at least three editors missed each time. (My favorite is "pubic" instead of "public" in a footnote.) Not all of my sentences are perfectly constructed and not all my points brilliantly emblazoned. But, overall, I'm not bad.
I believe that we ought to make our best attempts to contribute—to educate, to inform, to amuse, to provoke, to comfort—and the quality of our contribution lies in the degree of help and improvement discerned by the audience. In so doing, we attempt to use a pure process of delivery: good grammar, clear examples, interesting vocabulary, intelligent structure.
Yet content trumps process (only the "motivational speakers" would have you believe that the sizzle is more important than the steak for long-term nutrition).
The reader who told me that the 8 errors he found in one of my books (6 real, 2 of style he didn't like) "destroyed" the value for him. That's like telling me that writing on the menu spoiled the food. (Have you seen the side dish, "smothered onions"?) If he's looking for a perfectly constructed, vacuous book, I'm sure he'll find quite a few but, one hopes, none of mine.
My auto dealer's service manager, looking at the scratches on my tire rims, said, "We could fix those, but you'd just scratch them again, so why bother unless it's really annoying you?" I like that attitude. It wasn't annoying me, and we all know there's nothing perfect for long about our automobiles. My lawn isn't perfect, my dog is usually dirty somewhere, and my computer has some quirks that probably more properly belong to a microwave. So be it.
Life isn't very comforting or peaceful when the banal and trivial can set us off like wayward fireworks, sputtering and spitting in every direction. I'd never condone sloppiness and the search for excellence is laudatory. But life is full of spatters and streaks, potholes and pimples, that create soil and blemish. Some say the Mona Lisa's beauty is in its imperfection. I've found typos in John Updike's novels. (Has anyone ever watched Jay Leno do "headlines" on Monday nights?)
I am thankful for eagle-eyed readers whom I am hereby dubbing "The Eagle Squadron" who point out from great heights minute errors on the ground for improvement next time. I'd merely admonish everyone to stay focused on the larger vista.
After all, the point of soaring with the eagles is the view from up there, isn't it?
ORTIYKMWOYBNT-O Department
After receiving the wrong luggage in our room at the Peninsula Hotel in New York, management immediately brought in security and they reviewed the in-house videos of my limo being unloaded outside the hotel and the "chain of custody" of my bag through the lobbies. It was verified, as I was threatening to call the police, that the bag now in my room was the same one that arrived with me.
"Where did you come from?" asked the chief of security. My wife shot me a look, as the entire episode collapsed around my ears. I had directed the red cap who entered our train to take the wrong bag, and mine had stayed on the train to Washington. Meanwhile, I possessed the bag containing the clothes and visual aids of a college professor due to deliver a major speech the next day at an engineering conference in Washington.
Amtrak and the hotel straightened things out, and the bags were swapped on the next north- and southbound trains. "It could have happened to anyone," I pointed out.
"No, it couldn't," said my wife, on her way to buy a new outfit.